I've not been happy of late. Downright miserable and irritable would perhaps be more accurate to say. I am feeling happier now, the dark mood has lifted quite considerably. One of the reasons I haven't updated this blog is because no one wants to hear a miserable sod going on about his woes. It gets tiresome after a while and problem is when I am in that mood I often say many things that I'll later feel bad about. In the cold light of the morning things always seem more rational and it leaves me often wondering what was all the fuss and heat about.
There is no one thing I can say which has promoted this unhappy state of mood for the last week and a bit. Mainly it has been work. Getting pissed off about my new job, not enjoying it at all because what I have done so far I feel is a waste of my abilities and just doesn't enthuse me with any motivation. In fact I wonder if I didn't turn up one day if anybody would notice my absence. All week, I've been getting to work increasingly late and not one word has been said about it. I am convinced that if I didn't make the effort to engage others in the occasional conversation, mainly to vent my frustration*/unhappiness*/anger* (* delete as appropriate) about work, I'd sit in silence all day.
I know its a bad mind set to be in because negative thoughts and moreover negative talk is self-serving and defeating. It doesn't achieve anything and I don't feel better for having said the things I've said, just more negative and despondent. Not good.
Things are better. Today has been a better day. I feel happier, more in control. I am trying to keep smiling, looking at the positive rather than the negative. Tomorrow is another day. That's what I keep in mind.