Monday

Okay, I haven't posted on here for a while and I guess its time I did some sort of update! Had an enjoyable day at Collectormania just over a week ago and saw Iron Man at the flicks in the afternoon with Derek and Carla. I am not sure what I made of Iron Man to be honest. I thought it was okay and fun for the most part, certainly not one of those movies that you need to think too hard about. I liked Robert Downey Jr although I did struggle to warm to his character. Before the film was a trailer for Indiana Jones and much like Iron Man, it didn't really blow me away, although I got hooked by the music! I love John Williams' Raiders March - he does marches so well! I am looking forward to seeing the film in Brum at the end of the month. It should be a fun weekend as on the Friday I am going to the National Railway Museum at York. Although I managed to get a bargain set of fares on the train, the cost of staying over in Brum is expensive. Still, its not often that I go away so why not make the most of it?

I've also seen the trailer for Star Wars: Clone Wars, which also left me feeling completely underwhelmed. Oh dear... There is no question of not seeing it, I just won't go in with any high expectations. It looked to me to be rather light on plot and character development and heavy on visual effects and big battle sequences. Nothing wrong with that I guess but it does get tedious in my view if that is all the film is going to be.

I am still waiting to hear if/when I start my permanent job. I say if, although I don't know why there should be any doubt about it. I think I am nervous because of my bad experiences last year and have this fear that they're going to tell me that they've made a mistake and sorry the job isn't mine. I wrote before on here about how I felt dissatisfied with what I was doing. I've sort of got over that phase by focusing on things that I am doing out of work and trying to make the most of my time in the office and getting to know the people I am working with better. I find it hard to get to know new people - I am not a great conversationalist and I don't much enjoy small talk.

Out of work I am fearing that I have begun to take on too many commitments. Already I run a web site for one of the railway clubs that I belong too and recently joined the committee of another. Now, I've volunteered myself to run another web site, although I took it on the strict understanding that the input from me would be limited. Then, there is my OU studies, which I should really devote more time too and the possibility of studying for a Diploma in Insurance through my new job. Not to mention my volunteering at Bletchley Park, which I still hope to start soon... When am I going to fit all this in?

One thing which I really need to work on is my time management and being more disciplined in getting things done. I sort of had the right idea last Monday - the Bank Holiday - deliberately getting up the same time as I would going to work and using the extra hours to get to grips with my OU coursework. After that, it all went downhill and so the plans for doing some housework and those other boring tasks, slipped back a day. I find that I let hours drift by, not through doing nothing but by diverting myself into doing things which don't really deserve a priority like a sudden decision to have a declutter and move a pile of magazines and stuff from one place to another! I start things and never finish them because I either lose interest part way through or find something else that I perceive as more interesting to get done. I really need to learn to focus on one thing at a time and see it through. I do spend far too much time surfing the net and before I know it, there is another couple of hours gone. Then I am too tired/bored/disinterested to be doing the jobs which I should have got done.

Exercise is a case in point. I made a promise to myself that when I got home from work I would do ten minutes a day on the exercise bike. Its not much but I rationalised that ten minutes would be nothing, it would be done and out of the way and by getting into the habit I would gradually want to do more. I've failed to achieve even this simple objective nearly everyday because I dread doing it all day, although really it is hardly a chore, so that by the time I get home, I find other things to distract me - a sudden job that must be done. So instead I put off doing any exercise and then by the time I realise that I haven't done it, like now, its too late and time for bed! And thus the self-defeating circle continues. Does any of this make sense? If I know what the problem is and understand that I am doing, why can't I simply overcome it?