I had what would probably be a full and frank discussion with my manager today about where I am with my job and where I would like to be. I made it clear that the coming months, were from my point of view at least, a make or break time. There is a restructure (yet again) ongoing at the moment, the outcome of which I may know tomorrow or sometime next week. As always with these things, details seep out before the main announcement and generally what I have heard seems positive and I am keeping a focus on that. But I am also being realistic too. If things don't work out as I anticipate then I am not happy carrying on as now. I can't continue as I am, to put it simply. This was the gist of what I said my manager although of course in a more articulate manner. I think we both came away from the meeting with a clearer understanding of each other and whilst my comments were sincere I am not entirely convinced of the same by my manager's words, no matter how many times he made reference to being sincere. I always find it doubtful when people have to hammer home so carefully what they mean - surely if the meaning is not clear in their words then they don't really mean it? I am not usually so direct and honest but it felt refreshing to be so and to approach the subject of my future at work so directly and head-on.
The coming days and weeks should be interesting as the results of the restructure become clear and I learn how I fit within it. There is, as always with these things, some suggestion that redundancies may occur but I feel that is very unlikely. I am not worrying about that anyway. If it happens to me, it does and I'll deal with it then. I waste too much emotional energy already worrying about the things that I cannot change so there is no point adding redundancy to my list!
Hopefully tomorrow things may become a little clearer and I will have a better focus on the future at work.