Just a random collection of good things and others that annoy...
People moaning about the weather - of course it has always been a national obsession to discuss the weather, it just isn't British to not be complaining about it either being too hot, too cold or too wet or sometimes a mix of all three in the same day! You can't really call yourself British, if you've never struck up a conversation with a complete stranger whilst waiting for a bus (or indeed engaging in any other everyday mundane activity) and discussed the weather. However, I have noticed more recently that this obsession has become, well...more obsessional, if that is possible. Everyone seems to have short memories and so think that every spell of 'unusual weather' is so unusual that they can't remember it being quite like it before. Even worse, the weather forecasts now are so dramatic that its almost a wonder that each one doesn't come with some fearful warning. Not to mention the fact that Global Warming has to be thrown into virtually every discussion that concerns the weather these days. What do we have? An ever more neurotic public who sense every change in the weather as if it is some calamitous foretelling of terrible disaster... Absolute rubbish, the weather is as it always has been in my memory, marvellously unpredictable. That's why we like talking about it so much.
'Gay Marriage' - this phrase really irritates me. Marriage for me is between a man and a woman, not between two people of the same sex. I have no problem with Civil Unions but these are not, in my view, a marriage. I think describing Civil Unions as such, devalues the meaning of marriage as something, which I still regard as being a special and important commitment between a man and a woman.
On the radio - there are three radio programmes, all BBC of course, that I try to listen too regularly. Firstly Newshour on the BBC World Service, which is an interesting and informative round-up of the days news. I like it because its not about sound-bites and it doesn't gloss over the issues like much TV news does. Another favourite news and current affairs programme is Broadcasting House on Sunday mornings on Radio 4. I suppose technically I am not a listener to this programme in the usual sense as I am a podcast subscriber but I very much enjoy listening to Paddy O'Connell and his guests each week. This is a surprisingly informative hour and often humorous too. Finally on my local station, BBC Three Counties Radio, there is a gem of a programme every Friday evening from 8-10pm, filled with terrific tunes from the 70s and 80s.
Being in a job - I realised this morning as I left home for work how lucky I am to be working. I know I've moaned about my current job from time to time but I count my blessings for being in work and for the sense of purpose and direction it gives. I am very thankful for being where I am now when I think back to how bad things were about six months ago.
Friends - where would any of us be without our friends? I read a telling quote on someones mug at work earlier - 'Life is nothing without friends.' How true and I feel very fortunate to have the friends that I do and for all the ups and downs there is from time to time, I am grateful to count each and every one of them a part of my life.
Doctor's receptionists - why are they all like little 'Hitler's'? Well all the ones I seem to have a dealing with are!
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
In a quandary
I am not sure what to do about my job. I know I spent the best part of the end of last year and the beginning of this bleating about being unemployed and so now that I am working, I may seem incredibly ungrateful to be moaning about it. Not that I have a problem with work just that I wished it was more interesting and more challenging. I find the days drag by and I am getting bored because what I am doing is not using my brain at all and I don't feel stretched. On the plus side, there is absolutely no stress, little responsibility and I have good hours. The people I work with are okay but the office is completely without any dynamic. In some ways that is nice. I have worked in highly-politicised office environments before and so to find one that isn't like that is refreshing. However, it seems to be absent of any interaction at all and although I do try to involve myself, the fact that I am sitting at the end of a row of desks, with my back to the colleagues I am working with, is not conducive to feeling part of a team. I do feel sometimes like the outsider, particularly when I hear references to 'the temp or temps.'
Moreover, I guess the deeper feeling is one of failure. Here I am, thirty-two years old, doing data input all day. Its the sort of a job a school leaver would be doing. I am not earning much but that doesn't bother me as much as my loss of pride I guess in what I am doing. I don't feel great about going to work; I feel I should be making more of my life, that it should have more importance than it does at the moment.
I raised the subject of my current assignment with the agency because a). I have no idea how long it is for, and b). to see if there was another opportunity available that would use my skills and experience more effectively and challenge me more than what I am doing now. I got a polite rebuff on both points. Apparently 'I was told' that this assignment would be long term, which is not my recollection and could lead to a permanent post. I can't see myself doing data input for the rest of my career! The agency suggested that I contact them today to discuss further, which I did but it seems that they're 'too busy' to talk to me about any of this and that really pisses me off. I find it downright rude and discourteous for someone to ask you to call them and to then not call you back when they have promised to do so. I am not likely to push the issue any further but I am not happy about it.
So where do I go from here? Do I just sit tight and plod along, looking for other opportunities that come my way? Or do I bite the bullet and insist on something else?
I have been looking at other jobs. One I've applied for and am waiting to hear back from. Another agency contacted me about a job in MK but as with most vacancies I have heard about through agencies that has come to nought. There is another job that I am considering applying for at the moment.
Sigh. Is it so hard to find that 'right' job?
Moreover, I guess the deeper feeling is one of failure. Here I am, thirty-two years old, doing data input all day. Its the sort of a job a school leaver would be doing. I am not earning much but that doesn't bother me as much as my loss of pride I guess in what I am doing. I don't feel great about going to work; I feel I should be making more of my life, that it should have more importance than it does at the moment.
I raised the subject of my current assignment with the agency because a). I have no idea how long it is for, and b). to see if there was another opportunity available that would use my skills and experience more effectively and challenge me more than what I am doing now. I got a polite rebuff on both points. Apparently 'I was told' that this assignment would be long term, which is not my recollection and could lead to a permanent post. I can't see myself doing data input for the rest of my career! The agency suggested that I contact them today to discuss further, which I did but it seems that they're 'too busy' to talk to me about any of this and that really pisses me off. I find it downright rude and discourteous for someone to ask you to call them and to then not call you back when they have promised to do so. I am not likely to push the issue any further but I am not happy about it.
So where do I go from here? Do I just sit tight and plod along, looking for other opportunities that come my way? Or do I bite the bullet and insist on something else?
I have been looking at other jobs. One I've applied for and am waiting to hear back from. Another agency contacted me about a job in MK but as with most vacancies I have heard about through agencies that has come to nought. There is another job that I am considering applying for at the moment.
Sigh. Is it so hard to find that 'right' job?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Finding the right words
Exasperation would perhaps best describe my state of mind at the moment but really that is not the right word. It isn't enough to say what I feel. I can't be bothered to think of anything better or more eloquent to put in its place though.
The end of last week was a particularly bad time, not for any specific reason, I just felt shit every day. Not physically; emotionally and mentally drained, unwilling and distant. I am not even sure that I was here at the end of last week. Of course, physically I was here but otherwise it felt like I was living on auto-pilot. What prompted this sense of crisis is many things. Mostly that little voice in my head that keeps on and on about how things will never get any better. Everyone says that I should stay positive and that is sound advice. I try; it is becoming harder and harder though. I find disappointment everywhere, I look for positive signs and find them wanting. I also feel a lot of anger at the injustice of where I am. The trouble is I have no direction to vent my anger. I have no one to blame, no one who is culpable, only myself. So I end up dwelling on it, over and over again until it comes to a point when I just shut myself off and drift through the days like I did at the end of last week.
I can't explain what an immense mental effort it was to go my first Open University tutorial last Saturday. It sounds ridiculous and probably is as I only had to walk into Bletchley and it was only for a couple of hours. The night before and on the Saturday morning I kept going through whether I would go or not, running all the possibilities of why I should or shouldn't. More than that, I was running through all my insecurities, all my feelings of doubt and loathing, making it all seem like a Herculean effort rather than the simple task of turning up for a few hours and getting something valuable in terms of learning. On reflection, I wonder why I do it to myself. Why do I put so many of these ridiculous barriers in my way and then view them as being completely insurmountable, when in actual fact there is nothing to fear in the first place?
I am keenly aware of when I am doing this and I know it makes no sense. I am alert to the signs of when I am not coping and I suppose I should stop myself and do something about it. Like the mantra of 'staying positive' the words come easily, doing the same comes much less so.
Where am I now? Well, I feel better than I did. I go through these phases from time to time, there is nothing new in it. This was just a particularly bad experience.
I am immensely frustrated and disappointed that I am still unemployed. Every deadline that I have set myself for getting a job has come and gone. I have only had one interview this year! Is it any wonder that I feel so pissed off? I wish I could say that I am 'keeping positive' but you already know from the above that is a lie. Not that I am completely negative; I have moments, maybe days when I feel that things are finally coming together. Then that feeling passes and I am back to where I am now, wondering if things will ever change. I keep thinking to myself, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not that I ever had any grand plan for life although it certainly didn't involve being 32 and unemployed with nothing important achieved.
I keep looking for work although more often than not it feels like I am just going through the motions. All the agencies I have registered with seem unfeasibly positive at first and all have great jobs that will suit me just fine and then the reality strikes and they fail to deliver anything at all. Or they seem incapable of understanding my skills and experience and matching me to jobs that would suit my background, instead offering jobs in sales, which I have no experience of and is always required for these type of roles. I trawl the Internet job sites and the local papers, occassionally a job will appeal that matches my skills and experience but then it is either a case of the salary is too low or it is in some far distant place that would be difficult, if not impossible to get too.
Stay positive? Yeah, right. I've been out of work now for three months and I've had four interviews (and two of those were with the same company)! I can't help thinking that I will never find work. I don't know where I am going from here.
The end of last week was a particularly bad time, not for any specific reason, I just felt shit every day. Not physically; emotionally and mentally drained, unwilling and distant. I am not even sure that I was here at the end of last week. Of course, physically I was here but otherwise it felt like I was living on auto-pilot. What prompted this sense of crisis is many things. Mostly that little voice in my head that keeps on and on about how things will never get any better. Everyone says that I should stay positive and that is sound advice. I try; it is becoming harder and harder though. I find disappointment everywhere, I look for positive signs and find them wanting. I also feel a lot of anger at the injustice of where I am. The trouble is I have no direction to vent my anger. I have no one to blame, no one who is culpable, only myself. So I end up dwelling on it, over and over again until it comes to a point when I just shut myself off and drift through the days like I did at the end of last week.
I can't explain what an immense mental effort it was to go my first Open University tutorial last Saturday. It sounds ridiculous and probably is as I only had to walk into Bletchley and it was only for a couple of hours. The night before and on the Saturday morning I kept going through whether I would go or not, running all the possibilities of why I should or shouldn't. More than that, I was running through all my insecurities, all my feelings of doubt and loathing, making it all seem like a Herculean effort rather than the simple task of turning up for a few hours and getting something valuable in terms of learning. On reflection, I wonder why I do it to myself. Why do I put so many of these ridiculous barriers in my way and then view them as being completely insurmountable, when in actual fact there is nothing to fear in the first place?
I am keenly aware of when I am doing this and I know it makes no sense. I am alert to the signs of when I am not coping and I suppose I should stop myself and do something about it. Like the mantra of 'staying positive' the words come easily, doing the same comes much less so.
Where am I now? Well, I feel better than I did. I go through these phases from time to time, there is nothing new in it. This was just a particularly bad experience.
I am immensely frustrated and disappointed that I am still unemployed. Every deadline that I have set myself for getting a job has come and gone. I have only had one interview this year! Is it any wonder that I feel so pissed off? I wish I could say that I am 'keeping positive' but you already know from the above that is a lie. Not that I am completely negative; I have moments, maybe days when I feel that things are finally coming together. Then that feeling passes and I am back to where I am now, wondering if things will ever change. I keep thinking to myself, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. Not that I ever had any grand plan for life although it certainly didn't involve being 32 and unemployed with nothing important achieved.
I keep looking for work although more often than not it feels like I am just going through the motions. All the agencies I have registered with seem unfeasibly positive at first and all have great jobs that will suit me just fine and then the reality strikes and they fail to deliver anything at all. Or they seem incapable of understanding my skills and experience and matching me to jobs that would suit my background, instead offering jobs in sales, which I have no experience of and is always required for these type of roles. I trawl the Internet job sites and the local papers, occassionally a job will appeal that matches my skills and experience but then it is either a case of the salary is too low or it is in some far distant place that would be difficult, if not impossible to get too.
Stay positive? Yeah, right. I've been out of work now for three months and I've had four interviews (and two of those were with the same company)! I can't help thinking that I will never find work. I don't know where I am going from here.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Getting it together
Phew! What a busy week. After feeling really fed up and ready to give up at the end of last week, things have picked up considerably. I still don't have a firm offer of a job in my hands but I feel like I am moving forward rather than standing still and that it is now only a matter of time before I am back in to work.
I have an interview next week for a call centre job. Its not great pay and it involves working shifts, which I am not too keen on either. But its a job. I am hoping the interview goes well and that I get the job. If I don't, well there are other things on the go and besides this would only be a stop-gap to something better, not a permanent career move.
I saw two agencies this week and spoken to a couple of others. All seem quite enthusiastic and keen to get me into a position as soon as possible. I feel encouraged by that and confident that things are beginning to turn around.
As well as looking for paid employment, I've also been considering doing some voluntary work until I get myself into something more permanent. I've volunteered for a couple of things, which I am just waiting to hear back on. According to the Job Centre I am okay doing this as long as its no more than ten hours per week and I keep actively looking for work, which I fully intend to do. Also, I've signed up to work a couple of conventions at the beginning of March. I'd been thinking about doing this for a long while, having done a couple of cons here in Milton Keynes about 5 years ago. Then there is my OU course, which I've just started. The calendar is beginning to look quite full for the next couple of months!
So I feel a lot more positive than a week ago and a lot more in control. Despite not having any money, I feel happy. I feel contented with my lot at the moment and happy and glad for the things I do have.
I have an interview next week for a call centre job. Its not great pay and it involves working shifts, which I am not too keen on either. But its a job. I am hoping the interview goes well and that I get the job. If I don't, well there are other things on the go and besides this would only be a stop-gap to something better, not a permanent career move.
I saw two agencies this week and spoken to a couple of others. All seem quite enthusiastic and keen to get me into a position as soon as possible. I feel encouraged by that and confident that things are beginning to turn around.
As well as looking for paid employment, I've also been considering doing some voluntary work until I get myself into something more permanent. I've volunteered for a couple of things, which I am just waiting to hear back on. According to the Job Centre I am okay doing this as long as its no more than ten hours per week and I keep actively looking for work, which I fully intend to do. Also, I've signed up to work a couple of conventions at the beginning of March. I'd been thinking about doing this for a long while, having done a couple of cons here in Milton Keynes about 5 years ago. Then there is my OU course, which I've just started. The calendar is beginning to look quite full for the next couple of months!
So I feel a lot more positive than a week ago and a lot more in control. Despite not having any money, I feel happy. I feel contented with my lot at the moment and happy and glad for the things I do have.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Feeling better today
I spent a good couple of hours this morning ringing around all the agencies that I've had contact with and sending four of them my CV again. I've been particular in making lists of the people I've spoken to and their contact details so that I can pester them continuously! It seems that registering through agencies web sites is akin to launching yourself into a black hole. But I've made progress I feel. I've got an action plan in place for next week with a list of follow-ups, tasks and things to do for each day. It might sound a bit silly although I feel much more in control. I have objectives, lists of things to do and tasks to complete. I might not actually have got anywhere nearer getting a job but I am feeling in control of the situation rather than it controlling me, which is what I felt yesterday.
Also, I went through my financial budget and have started the process of pruning out expenditure I don't need and getting things a lot leaner on that side. Its hard but again I am making progress. There are a lot of things I still need to do and I now know what needs to be done and when. I am not letting it all run away from me and I feel much happier about that.
I went out for a walk a little earlier and that helped. I've been feeling so trapped, which probably sounds ridiculous because what's stopping me stepping out the front door for half hour? I don't always find it that straightforward and to quote an old saying sometimes it is difficult to see the wood for the trees. Everything was crowding in on top of me and all I was doing was focusing on my anxiety, disappointment and frustration instead of seeing a way out. I am sure I'll have other days where I will feel like that again although I hope by setting out an action plan for myself I can avoid that sort of crisis affecting me too much.
Okay, my situation is still far from wonderful or even near what I want it to be. I am making steps though. I am moving on and although it might be tough I know I am getting there.
Also, I went through my financial budget and have started the process of pruning out expenditure I don't need and getting things a lot leaner on that side. Its hard but again I am making progress. There are a lot of things I still need to do and I now know what needs to be done and when. I am not letting it all run away from me and I feel much happier about that.
I went out for a walk a little earlier and that helped. I've been feeling so trapped, which probably sounds ridiculous because what's stopping me stepping out the front door for half hour? I don't always find it that straightforward and to quote an old saying sometimes it is difficult to see the wood for the trees. Everything was crowding in on top of me and all I was doing was focusing on my anxiety, disappointment and frustration instead of seeing a way out. I am sure I'll have other days where I will feel like that again although I hope by setting out an action plan for myself I can avoid that sort of crisis affecting me too much.
Okay, my situation is still far from wonderful or even near what I want it to be. I am making steps though. I am moving on and although it might be tough I know I am getting there.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Same crap different day
I've just about had enough today. I feel so many different things at the moment I am not sure how to focus my feelings. Everyday just lately has felt like one slap in the face after another. I believe I must be some sort of idiot or have a sign hung around my neck saying 'hey, come and walk all over me, I don't mind.'
Sigh.
I had set myself a deadline of finding a new job by the end of this month. I have been out of work now for about 3 months and I feel absolutely gutted that here I am still not working and with no propsect of securing a decent job in the forseeable future. Where did it all go wrong? What is wrong with me?
Part of me, the really negative side, feels like I've been a complete and utter failure. Its like I've finally been found out. That I am thoroughly crap and useless and I've only just realised it. If I wasn't surely I'd have a job by now?
I got turned down for the job that I'd applied for where I used to work. I had the test and interview last Thursday - where they kept me waiting for half-hour - and only got the feedback today that I didn't 'meet the required competencies' for the role! What the f**k does that mean?! I thought it had gone well and the fact that I can't even secure myself a crappy job answering the 'phones really does my head in. Am I so utterly unemployable that I can't even do a school leaver's job? And they've messed me around so much. I had to 'phone five - yes FIVE - times to get that piece of feedback. Well, thanks so much for wasting my time!
About five minutes after I had that call I had a call from a friend who I used to work with. He suggested e-mailing my CV across to his Manager and was as surprised as I was that I'd been turned down for a job where we both used to work. That at least made me feel a little bit better. But the best he could offer was a role paying £15K a year in Coventry - that's half what I was earning a few months ago! And no matter how much I move the figures around it would be financially unviable with the travelling costs.
I feel so utterly shit at the moment. I don't know whether to be angry or just sit in the corner and cry. It's probably just as well that I live on my own because I really want to hit someone at the moment. Aaaaarrrrgh!
I decided that just sitting here beating myself up about it all isn't going to get me anywhere. So, I've taken a deep breath, looked at my budget for each month and what I have coming in and I am going to have to make some drastic changes. I need to prioritise what is critical and what is not. I also made a list of agencies to call in the morning and I've set myself the lowest hourly rate I can possibly live on and I am just going to keep going until someone gives me a job. I am not going to put up with this crap any longer. I can't. I think I am slowly going mad or at least that is what it feels like. I am not going to let this defeat me, am not going to give in.
Please bear with me, I hope to resume normal service soon...
Sigh.
I had set myself a deadline of finding a new job by the end of this month. I have been out of work now for about 3 months and I feel absolutely gutted that here I am still not working and with no propsect of securing a decent job in the forseeable future. Where did it all go wrong? What is wrong with me?
Part of me, the really negative side, feels like I've been a complete and utter failure. Its like I've finally been found out. That I am thoroughly crap and useless and I've only just realised it. If I wasn't surely I'd have a job by now?
I got turned down for the job that I'd applied for where I used to work. I had the test and interview last Thursday - where they kept me waiting for half-hour - and only got the feedback today that I didn't 'meet the required competencies' for the role! What the f**k does that mean?! I thought it had gone well and the fact that I can't even secure myself a crappy job answering the 'phones really does my head in. Am I so utterly unemployable that I can't even do a school leaver's job? And they've messed me around so much. I had to 'phone five - yes FIVE - times to get that piece of feedback. Well, thanks so much for wasting my time!
About five minutes after I had that call I had a call from a friend who I used to work with. He suggested e-mailing my CV across to his Manager and was as surprised as I was that I'd been turned down for a job where we both used to work. That at least made me feel a little bit better. But the best he could offer was a role paying £15K a year in Coventry - that's half what I was earning a few months ago! And no matter how much I move the figures around it would be financially unviable with the travelling costs.
I feel so utterly shit at the moment. I don't know whether to be angry or just sit in the corner and cry. It's probably just as well that I live on my own because I really want to hit someone at the moment. Aaaaarrrrgh!
I decided that just sitting here beating myself up about it all isn't going to get me anywhere. So, I've taken a deep breath, looked at my budget for each month and what I have coming in and I am going to have to make some drastic changes. I need to prioritise what is critical and what is not. I also made a list of agencies to call in the morning and I've set myself the lowest hourly rate I can possibly live on and I am just going to keep going until someone gives me a job. I am not going to put up with this crap any longer. I can't. I think I am slowly going mad or at least that is what it feels like. I am not going to let this defeat me, am not going to give in.
Please bear with me, I hope to resume normal service soon...
Friday, January 25, 2008
I'll be glad to see the back of this week...
I heard on the radio this morning that this week is supposed to be the most depressing of the year which seems appropriate as it hasn't been a particularly good week for me. Not that anything bad or awful has happened. Its been one of those weeks where everything seems to have gone wrong, where the little problems have mounted up. Today I've gone back to my old ways, what I call the 'fat Mark' way of thinking, which is that if I am under stress or unhappy I'll find comfort in food, so yep, I've been grazing all day, eating all the wrong kind of things, not doing any exercise at all. Just sitting on my fat behind and feeling miserable about it. So, let's get it off my chest!
Monday - I hate Mondays! Even though I am not working at the moment, there is something about Monday mornings, which just isn't conducive to being happy. I was feeling rather unwell on Monday this week, getting disconcerting dizzy spells, which I realised later could have been something to do with forgetting to take my blood pressure tablets the day before. It sounds silly but it could have been the cause, although the long list of horrible side-effects on the medication does warn that one of the commonest ones is dizziness, vertigo and the like. Whatever, it made me feel unwell all day. I also had a call on Monday to advise that the engineer who was coming to fix my boiler on Tuesday was off sick so the job wouldn't be done. After much hassle and some 'phone calls later, the engineer is now coming next Tuesday...although I'll only believe it when he's actually here. In the meantime I don't have a reliable supply of hot water.
I can't remember what happened on Tuesday but something went wrong, I know. Maybe it was the lights blowing in the lounge...No, I know what it was, I'd spent a long time over the weekend and Monday and Tuesday working on redesign of a web site that I manage for one of the railway societies I belong too. Only thing is when I came to update it, everything got cocked up and I managed to delete a fairly important file by mistake. All got sorted in the end but that was stressful!
Wednesday was my sign-on day at the Job Centre, which always makes me feel down. I find it so demoralising and degrading, especially when most of the people there seem to be no-hopers or benefit cheats. The advisor I see there, nice guy but completely useless. I had a whinge about the fact that if I was a single mother I'd probably be better off and that I feel penalised under the benefits system because I am a single person with no dependents. How is anyone supposed to live on £60 per week? I was just sounding off.
Yesterday I had a job interview, which went okay apart from the fact that they kept me waiting for almost half-hour! Yes, thirty bloody minutes before anyone came to see me! I was annoyed about that but was even more annoyed that in the afternoon I had an appointment with an agency for temporary work, which proved to be a complete waste of time. Apparently because I possess neither a passport nor a full birth certificate (I do have a birth certificate but I am told it is not a full one) they were unable to register me. I am beginning to hold agencies with the same contempt as IFA's. Stupid rules! The interview in the morning on a positive note seemed to go well and I passed the first bit, which was a telephone test. I find out early next week if I got the job.
When I eventually got home I decided that I would sort out my Sky box so that I can record from Sky. Easy I thought. Oh dear, how misguided must I be? I nearly turned the flat upside down looking for the instruction manuals for my DVD player and the Sky box and could I find them? Well, of course not. Being a man my filing skills are not what they could be and I hoard so many different things, stuff inevitably gets shoved in folders and away in boxes or on bookcases where it has no right to belong. Anyway I found the necessary instructions today and made all the connections as per the diagrams but guess what...still can't work out how to record from Sky, so I've given up on that.
Today, I've just been in a bad mood. I had a bad dream last night, which I think freaked me out more than I thought because it was still lingering with me when I woke up. Its probably a result of all the fretting that I've been doing all week.
Tomorrow I am taking myself out for the day to see a bit of the countryside and get some fresh air. Hopefully things will go a bit smoother next week.
Monday - I hate Mondays! Even though I am not working at the moment, there is something about Monday mornings, which just isn't conducive to being happy. I was feeling rather unwell on Monday this week, getting disconcerting dizzy spells, which I realised later could have been something to do with forgetting to take my blood pressure tablets the day before. It sounds silly but it could have been the cause, although the long list of horrible side-effects on the medication does warn that one of the commonest ones is dizziness, vertigo and the like. Whatever, it made me feel unwell all day. I also had a call on Monday to advise that the engineer who was coming to fix my boiler on Tuesday was off sick so the job wouldn't be done. After much hassle and some 'phone calls later, the engineer is now coming next Tuesday...although I'll only believe it when he's actually here. In the meantime I don't have a reliable supply of hot water.
I can't remember what happened on Tuesday but something went wrong, I know. Maybe it was the lights blowing in the lounge...No, I know what it was, I'd spent a long time over the weekend and Monday and Tuesday working on redesign of a web site that I manage for one of the railway societies I belong too. Only thing is when I came to update it, everything got cocked up and I managed to delete a fairly important file by mistake. All got sorted in the end but that was stressful!
Wednesday was my sign-on day at the Job Centre, which always makes me feel down. I find it so demoralising and degrading, especially when most of the people there seem to be no-hopers or benefit cheats. The advisor I see there, nice guy but completely useless. I had a whinge about the fact that if I was a single mother I'd probably be better off and that I feel penalised under the benefits system because I am a single person with no dependents. How is anyone supposed to live on £60 per week? I was just sounding off.
Yesterday I had a job interview, which went okay apart from the fact that they kept me waiting for almost half-hour! Yes, thirty bloody minutes before anyone came to see me! I was annoyed about that but was even more annoyed that in the afternoon I had an appointment with an agency for temporary work, which proved to be a complete waste of time. Apparently because I possess neither a passport nor a full birth certificate (I do have a birth certificate but I am told it is not a full one) they were unable to register me. I am beginning to hold agencies with the same contempt as IFA's. Stupid rules! The interview in the morning on a positive note seemed to go well and I passed the first bit, which was a telephone test. I find out early next week if I got the job.
When I eventually got home I decided that I would sort out my Sky box so that I can record from Sky. Easy I thought. Oh dear, how misguided must I be? I nearly turned the flat upside down looking for the instruction manuals for my DVD player and the Sky box and could I find them? Well, of course not. Being a man my filing skills are not what they could be and I hoard so many different things, stuff inevitably gets shoved in folders and away in boxes or on bookcases where it has no right to belong. Anyway I found the necessary instructions today and made all the connections as per the diagrams but guess what...still can't work out how to record from Sky, so I've given up on that.
Today, I've just been in a bad mood. I had a bad dream last night, which I think freaked me out more than I thought because it was still lingering with me when I woke up. Its probably a result of all the fretting that I've been doing all week.
Tomorrow I am taking myself out for the day to see a bit of the countryside and get some fresh air. Hopefully things will go a bit smoother next week.
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