An uphill struggle

I have been prescribed new pills by the doctor to control my hypertension and left ventricular hypertrophy. The latter is a fancy way of saying, a thickening of the heart muscle. The irony is not lost on me, that the only muscle in my body that is getting bigger, is the one that shouldn't be! It's not a serious problem although my blood pressure has crept up. I need to get it down and keep it under control. The warning is stark. If I don't then I run the risk of heart failure and increase significantly the risk of having a stroke or a heart attack. The reason I have hypertrophy is precisely becasue I have had undiagnosed hypertension for a long time. I find it bizarre that such a potentially serious condition can have no symptoms and I have probably had it for years before I was diagnosed last year.

Hopefully this course of tablets will not have such an adverse effect on me as the last, which really did begin to make me feel ill. The doctor however thinks that the more likely cause has been rapid changes in blood pressure, probably not helped by the fact that I adopted a stop-start approach to taking the last lot of pills.

I know that I need to loose weight, that is about the most self-evident statement there is. I am doing more exercise, although having a night off tonight; I am still feeling a little sore from the weekend! Also, its about changing my diet and thinking more carefully about what I am eating particularly cutting down on my fat intake. More importantly I think it is about analysing my habits and the sometimes compulsive nature of my eating.

I get easily demoralised though. I feel like I should feel and notice a change almost immediately and I know that just isn't going to happen. Weight loss has to be gradual to be sustainable and its got to be an on-going thing, not just something I can think about now and again, when it feels like a good idea. Sometimes, I wonder if it would help if I had someone to shout at me and tell me what a fat slob I am. Maybe a guilt trip or insults would give me the motivation to stick too healthier eating and exercising. I don't think its enough for me to say that I am doing it for myself, there has to be another goal to it. Its not easy and I know it will be an uphill struggle but if its my future health on the line, I really must make more of an effort and now.