Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That's all for now

I realised only yesterday, although why it didn't occur to me before I don't know, that I don't enjoy talking about myself. Well, that's not quite true, any of it... I have thought this before and whether I like talking about myself depends on the company I am in and whether I feel comfortable with those I am with. It all leads me on to the reason why I haven't updated this blog for a long time. I have nothing to say. Except that I do. Oh dear, this is getting nowhere! I have a lot to say but I don't want to talk about any of it. I am a private person and I don't want the world, especially one of strangers, to know my inner thoughts, feelings or much else. But a blog doesn't have to be that does it? Well what is it then?

So many times I have sat down to write a blog post and I've asked myself why? What am I saying and why am I saying it? Does there have to be a purpose? Does it matter if its complete nonsense or boring? Only to me it does matter. I feel that I am not completely at peace with myself so I can't say a lot of the stuff that I want and perhaps need to say. Instead I refer obliquely to things that are important or skirt round subjects I don't want to confront. It must be very unsatisfying for someone else to read all these vague references that I make.

To get to the point I see no reason for continuing with this blog. It doesn't serve any useful purpose, it has nothing interesting or new to say because I can't fulfill those requirements. Moreover I get no pleasure from writing this blog, not sure that I ever did and there doesn't seem much point continuing with something that is so lacking in purpose or enjoyment. So there it is, all I have to say for now.

3 comments:

Carla said...

Okay, that's cool.

Joe said...

Cheer up Mark, I can understand how you feel.

I've been surprised at how openly you write about yourself. Writing is often a form of catharsis, but for the self, not for other people, as you say.

I'm still interested in your thoughts on books and things, so maybe keep the blog going for that reason.

jamie said...

i wonder if kenny williams or sir alec guiness felt the same as they meticulously kept thier diaries for years and years,
is it the lack of sunny weather thats got you feeling all down and depressed?
cheer up,mate.
think of the holiday next year!