I realised only yesterday, although why it didn't occur to me before I don't know, that I don't enjoy talking about myself. Well, that's not quite true, any of it... I have thought this before and whether I like talking about myself depends on the company I am in and whether I feel comfortable with those I am with. It all leads me on to the reason why I haven't updated this blog for a long time. I have nothing to say. Except that I do. Oh dear, this is getting nowhere! I have a lot to say but I don't want to talk about any of it. I am a private person and I don't want the world, especially one of strangers, to know my inner thoughts, feelings or much else. But a blog doesn't have to be that does it? Well what is it then?
So many times I have sat down to write a blog post and I've asked myself why? What am I saying and why am I saying it? Does there have to be a purpose? Does it matter if its complete nonsense or boring? Only to me it does matter. I feel that I am not completely at peace with myself so I can't say a lot of the stuff that I want and perhaps need to say. Instead I refer obliquely to things that are important or skirt round subjects I don't want to confront. It must be very unsatisfying for someone else to read all these vague references that I make.
To get to the point I see no reason for continuing with this blog. It doesn't serve any useful purpose, it has nothing interesting or new to say because I can't fulfill those requirements. Moreover I get no pleasure from writing this blog, not sure that I ever did and there doesn't seem much point continuing with something that is so lacking in purpose or enjoyment. So there it is, all I have to say for now.