Monday, May 28, 2007

Weather report

Another wet Bank Holiday weekend then...although I would take issue with the young weatherman earlier who said that temperatures were exceptionally cold. Yes, it is somewhat below the average but exceptionally so? Everyone seems to obsess so much about the weather these days to the point where even the slightest change in the temperature, hours of sunshine or amount of rain (or more often the lack of it) seems to create a crisis mentality, suddenly it's bitterly cold, unbelievably hot or so unusual. The only explanation that there possibly can be is that its 'global warming' an umbrella term that seemingly explains away any change in the weather, not simply the fact that the weather has always been wildly unpredictable and chances are, however strange or unusual it may seem to us, it has probably been like this before! I don't get too concerned about it myself. I accept that living in Britain the weather will be unpredictable, every now and again it genuinely surprises me but most of the time, lets face it, the weather is mediocre. Maybe that's why we get so excited when the mercury creeps up a few degrees or there's a few days or rain and the wind picks up a bit on a Bank Holiday?

As for how the weather is in my life at the moment, well looking outside it is looking grey and overcast. An improvement on this morning when it was raining, cold and windy, just like most Bank Holidays. More personally, I guess I would describe my life as being sunny interludes with frequent showers and occasional heavy thundery storms. Not that I get angry much or at least not so that anyone would notice. The sun comes and ago in life, both in the sky and personally. The moment is a fairly happy time, I feel content, a faint feeling of smug satisfaction with life in general. No doubt now I've said that, something will happen tomorrow to unsettle that feeling. Yep, I am an eternally hopeful pessimist. In other words, I always hope for the best but expect the worst and then I can tell myself 'I told you so' when it goes all horribly wrong.

My moods are often as changeable as the weather although less severe in their occurrence. I don't flip from being happy one moment to ranting the next, although I can. Normally it takes days to move from being one feeling to the other and then back again. I guess not many people who know me would say that I strike them as being a particularly moody or emotional person but I think I am. Often it is the silliest things that will set me off. I think most people are like that, it is the minor irritations, the little mistakes or mishaps that seem to matter so much. I have a tendency to dwell to much on things and to worry to an excess. Neither is particularly healthy or helpful and I am trying hard to think differently and not worry about the things that I cannot change. Certainly it is a piece of advice that I am free in giving to others. What's the point in worrying about something if you can't control or change it? Put it to the back of your mind and get on with life. Easier said than done, of course. A lot of the time my anxieties are made worse by the fact that I don't have someone at home who I can simply talk to. It is cliche - 'its good to talk' - although how true it is. Even simply to have someone to listen is enough.

As for being emotional, often as with my anxieties, it is the smallest and often stupidest of things that sets me off. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not the sort of person that falls to pieces all the time. I do feel things keenly, too much so sometimes. I find it difficult to talk about if not impossible. See now what I've done? I've started depressing myself by taking off on this tack, damn it!

Back to the hear and now, I am happy you know. Mostly, quite often even and sometimes I just can't wait to start a new day. This year has been a good one for me thus far, even if the sun hasn't shone in the sky everyday it has been mostly sunny inside for me. So there's my weather report before I start ruminating on how dark and sullen it looks outside again...

1 comment:

jamie said...

the week couldn't have started any better than this bank holiday,with a very enjoyable trip to the london excel centre for another great convention,sunday out with friends and thier children for lunch,and then today with my family for my sisters birthday-a particular treat as me and my sisters are extremely close although i tend to not see them for a couple of weeks at a time.
and then on wednesday i have a meeting with someone,the possible outcome of which could turn around,or at the very least improve slightly,my life.
the sun,i would say,is so bright it dazzles me!